Here Lie Her Thoughts.

mandarin553 @ 2008-09-19T15:31:00

2008-09-19T19:37:53Z

by the way, me and Dapper are fifth in the nation in BN.
we are such bamfs.

anyway, here's the schedge:

October 3-5th - Jumpstart Horse Trials (novice)
October 12th - Jumper Stumpers at Champagne Run (but i don't think i'm going)
October 15-19 - Team Challenge HT (novice)
October 25-26 - Octoberfest HT and CT (novice HT)

so all i have to do is stay 5th in the nation and i'll get a sweet action prize at the end of the year awards
also i'm first area 8 (KY, ON, IN, PN, and WVA) so if we hold onto that through two more shows (until the competition year ends because octoberfest isn't sanctioned) we get fun year-end awards for that too.

i wish i could clone dan.

mandarin553 @ 2008-09-17T21:20:00

2008-09-18T01:20:21Z

palin:
-governor for 18 months
-wants to dig up alaska for quick oil but has no regard for long term environmental plans
-believes that global warming is "not" man-made...she's obviously deluded because Alaska is still cold.
-no foreign policy experience...unless you count being in close proximity to russia, as she apparently does.
-made several inflammitory insinuations toward Iran in her acceptance speech
-anti-choice
-thinks creationism should be taught in public schools, along with abstinence-only sex education (and look how far that got her...)
-vehemently concervative
- generally a douchebag.
-said "thanks" before "no thanks" on the bridge to nowhere
-takes it in the butthole from Big Oil
it's almost offensive for McCain to believe that hillary supporters would be stupid enough to think that palin is an acceptable substitute.

Mccain:
-had 90% approval rate with george bush, and i would say the argument ends there, but...
-*almost* but now quite as douch-y as palin

and the republican party can say whatever they want about obama only being a "community organizer" but, to put it in terms that only the overzealous republican christians can understand, jesus was a community organizer. pontius pilot was a governor. I hope sarah palin gets run over by a moose.

mandarin553 @ 2008-07-10T11:19:00

2008-07-10T15:24:11Z

it's nice to finally understand your calling, persay, in life: it took me the longest time to realize that i am a pretty damn good rider...last week was my kind of moment of realization - i'm pretty damn good at this. granted, i'm not doing training, or prelim, but we did win our very first novice competition on sunday. it was open, so we beat a couple trainers, and a bunch of people who i know were about to move up to training. very first novice ever. the four inches of amazingness that separates it from BN. :) :) :)
next week we compete at the horse park to win a spot in the beginner novice championships in Illinois, and after i qualify my trainer says i get to pretty much do all USEA sanctioned novice shows, wich i'm exciteed. After our novice season finishes and we get through the novice champs september of 09, i get to start looking for Dapper part II, because daps can't go higher than novice with his leggies. i'm just afraid i won't find a horse as superb as dapper is.

anyway, pictures:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2000902&l=1782c&id=1199130035

mandarin553 @ 2008-05-22T20:22:00

2008-05-23T00:24:10Z

i'm feeling so lost. I just don't know who to talk to anymore.

I guess I should have gone to prom, then maybe I wouldn't feel like such an outsider all the time. Maybe I would be included in notes again. Maybe people would call me to make plans. Maybe my friends would start INCLUDING me in the plans they already have.

Maybe I brought this all on myself...

mandarin553 @ 2008-05-09T20:24:00

2008-05-10T00:25:27Z

It's becoming frustrating to read article after article accusing me, an equestrian, of "getting my kicks" by eventing – the horse-killer’s sport. A friend of mine who also rides, referred me to an article she'd read a couple days ago, one that appeared right after the deaths of the two horses at the cross country phase of Rolex 2008. "We’re horse-killers.” She said, and the statement was so preposterous, it made us both laugh. At the time, coincidentally, we were schooling over cross country jumps, and I looked down at my horse, who, though tired, didn't look to me as if he was being slowly ridden to his death. Hungry, maybe, it was about his dinnertime, but not anguished.
As we finished our ride, I mulled over the notion that I might be homicidal- that I might possess some brand of dementia since my horse and I are pursuing higher levels. It's infuriating to read editorials from people, clearly not riders themselves, and who are therefore unable to understand the partnership between horse and a rider. It isn’t that I’m pushing my horse to do something beyond his capacity. I take the responsibility, as an eventer, to know my horse’s limits, and it is not the responsibility of those who know nothing about the sport to make the decision for me. I'm pushing my horse and myself, as a team, to do our best and go as far as we can in the sport – like the athletes we are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's 248 words exactly, and it's the letter i sent to the lexington newspaper after the 3rd article came out about my horse-killing tendencies...thanks, horse-country-of-the-world. thanks.

mandarin553 @ 2008-04-01T18:28:00

2008-04-01T22:28:55Z

you know what? it's spring break. IT'S SPRING BREAK. i should be doing what they do on MTV during spring break! i should be on the beach somewhere whoring myself out to semi-cute unattatched guys and partying all night and sleeping all day! but NO! what have i done this spring break? i've worked at wkf. and then i watched PG rated movies with my parents. and THEN i went to a museam. tomorrow i'm working and then riding. the next day i'm going to a movie with my youth group. i'm SO TIRED of being a boring dull person! I NEED TO FIND A PARTY i'm going ABSOLUTELY CRAZY and i have CABIN FEVER and i can't DO anything at night because i'm not allowed to drive in the nighttime yet! OH MY GOD i am going to STRANGLE MYSELF

mandarin553 @ 2008-01-28T20:45:00

2008-01-29T01:48:41Z

how do i feel? i'm feeling kind of quiet. not shhh quiet, pensive quiet. even though i'm being smacked in the head by fate, i still kind of want to go to a party this weekend with marine and see how far i can take him. every time i think to myself, it's over, let it go, i hear him saying, "you sure?" in my head, because when he said that, it meant that he would have come if i wasn't sure. SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH
i'm also a little frustrated with my riding, like, keeping my toes in and the like. daps is also having a hard time getting back into the groove of things...it took me like, 30 minutes to get him on the bit today, when usually i can get him on it in five.
but i love him, and we are GOING to chicago this year for that competition, even if i have to compete every weekend to get a 5th or above.

also i've realized that i kind of like updating this thing.

mandarin553 @ 2008-01-27T21:13:00

2008-01-28T02:22:00Z

so heath ledger.

sucks.

i guess i'm really really late on this, but it was probably because i didn't care. but in light of the fact that i am constantly bombarded by the "did you HEAR about HEATH?! isn't it so SAD?!"
the only sad part about it was his age, and the fact that he had a daughter.
i have a very hard time feeling sorry for people who have died from drug overdoses, or especially drunk driving, which is really what this post is about. so in fact, it's not that i have a hard time feeling sorry, it's that i just don't feel sorry about it at all. there should be a disclaimer on drugs - may cause death. not that it would stop anybody. drunk driving is probably the one unforgivable sin i could think of, especially when it kills somebody - not the person behind the wheel, i could care less about them- but the victim. i can't imagine the pain a family would have to go through after hearing their son/daughter/family member has died because of a drunk driving accident. it's one of the most horrible things that could happen. it makes me want to advocate for the death penalty- but not one that the constitution would allow for. I want the family to kill the person who committed the drunk driving. i want the family to go apeshit. i want the family to drink half a bottle of vodka and run their car right into his ass. i want the victim's family to kill the sorry sons of bitches themselves. i want drunk drivers lined up in front of a firing squad and have all of their limbs shot off. i want to put them on uppers, and speed, so they can't fall asleep while all of their limbs are cut off, piece by piece with a scalding hot butcher knife, until their hearts give out.
unless it was suicide.
in which case, i still don't feel that bad. suicide is the most selfish crime a person could commit. i won't say anymore about that, but it's up there with the unforgivable sins.

anyway.

mandarin553 @ 2008-01-26T20:31:00

2008-01-27T01:40:58Z

so this marine thing is getting rediculous.
i talked to him yesterday, asking if he wanted to do something, and he was like, "me and the guys are going to see 'meet the spartans'" and i was like, "it would probably scare me." because, hello, spartans? i was definitely thinking it would be something like 300, and i hadn't seen the previews. so i turned him down. when i did, he said, "you sure?" in that hot, hot, hot, hot, hot sweet sexy smooth voice of his, and inside i was like, "NO!" but i said, "yeah, i'm sure." and then i DID see a preview, and it looked really good and funny, and i was so upset that i'd turned him down i had to buy myself a new bag. it didn't work, i was still kind of upset, but now i have a new bag. it's cute. it has a butterfly on it.
then today i called him because he goes to my church and there's this thing going on tomorrow...and the only way i could get there on time was if i had a ride over, since my mom couldn't pick me up any earlier (i drive in 2 months...2 months...to long...) so i was going to call him to see if i could hitch a ride, but he said he didn't think he was going. i said, that was fine, i'd find a way somehow. and then he said, "you sure?" in, like i mentioned before, that hot hot hot hot sweet sexy smooth voice of his, and inside i was like, "NO!" but i said, "yeah, i'm sure." since getting more and more involved with the marines he's not involved with youth group or whatever anymore, so i should have known this is coming.
so i'm not much for pre-destination, but sometimes i DO get the feeling that when something isn't supposed to happen, the world will work all of its forces to make sure it doesn't. and that's really the feeling i'm getting here. if i did belive in fate and predestination, i would know that Lady Fortune is smacking me on the forehead right about now.
but i want him and this is all just very frustrating. do i give up???

mandarin553 @ 2008-01-19T23:15:00

2008-01-20T04:15:50Z

and another thing - i am sixteen years old. i want my own goddamn room.

topics 1-6

2008-01-20T03:48:22Z

topic one: partying.
what can I say? i'm a good girl. I stay out of trouble, i get fairly good grades, i keep up with my piano, my violin, all of the leadership/school/club groups that i'm involved in. i'm a freaking poster child! i have my majors set out, plans post college, i'm in leadership lexington, secretary of young democrats, co-chair of the marketing committee in Mayor's youth council, partner's for youth representative, editor of the newspaper and the literary magazine, a member of they key club, in youth group at my church, made symphonic all-state orchestra, Governer's School for the Arts in both violin and in photography, was selected for bluegrass women's advocacy mentorship program, founding comittee for youth coalition for political activism, i take piano, violin, take care of my horse, maintain a B+ average, and would it be too much to ask for a little trust?
all i want are some friends that I can have a good time with. All i want to do is cut loose every once in a while! my best friend will do some things with me, but not enough. no parties. like the one this weekend. all I wanted to do was drop by, but no. of course I said it was fine with me, I have to say that. I'm a good friend. but I wanted to go. until March 24th, I am on a short leash. (liscence for driving day). I don't know if I can suck it up until then. i do EVERYTHING. I want to party! i want to drink like i don't have a violin lesson in the morning! I want to dance! why don't i have a friend that will come with me to these things? that will lie and sneak around with me? is that so much to ask? doesn't everyone have a friend like this?
topic two: boys.
i keep my boys under spell and on a leash. that's how it used to be. now, i finally feel pretty. sometimes, i have self confidence, and why am I not getting any action? that's really petty. I know.
topic three: marines.
my marine. he's not really a marine yet. not until june 3rd. is it so godawful that i want to fuck him before he goes to iraq? probably. i just want to hang out with him. we went to dinner a couple weeks ago, and he paid for my meal. it was pretty amazing, considering that I not only want to fuck him, I wouldn't mind calling myself his girlfriend either. the fucking thing is only if I can't achieve the girlfriend thing. and it would be an easy thing to accomplish if he didn't, like most boys, have a thing for short brunettes. and if my parents would let me hang out with him. they think (and this is verbatim, from my father) that he will want to "sow his seed" before he goes to iraq. ergo, i am not really allowed to hang out with him. i can, if i lie by saying we are hanging out with the youth group. but i hate lying, and i fear being caught, because if i am caught, i get grounded from everything, and i will lose all of the trust, which has been pretty damn hard-earned. and i live on that trust, because when they trust me, they don't question what i am doing. like when i'm with marine and say i'm with anna, for example. he is who i would potentially be taking to the party, since anna doesn't want to go. but i just have to find a way to stay out late AND get dropped off/picked up by marine without my parents knowing. yeah. impossible. i have to stay on his radar, and with my parent-invoked shock collar on, i feel like i'm losing him. probably to a short brunette.
topic three: governers school for the arts (GSA).
i am playing Preludium and Allegro, by Kreisler. it's probably the hardest song i've ever played, and world-reknowned violinist Joshua Bell plays it. that means the song is amazing. but it also means it is one of the most upper level pieces of music i could play. but if i could master that song, i would be unstoppable for the position in GSA. and then all of my wildest dreams would come true. that song could take me wherever i wanted to go. i could audition for anything on that song. potentially. if only i could get it ready by March 7th, and still have time for...
topic four: All-State
second violin in the top level of all state orchestra. the music is not hard, but very time consuming. if only i HAD the damn time! GSA has taken the highest position in my mind, which is kind of a problem, because all-state is February 6-9th, which is like what, two weeks away? i don't have time to be doing all of this! i've gotten recordings of all of my music, and i'm worried about seating auditions, because i am not going to get a good chair if i can't play the music.
topic five: the farmhouse.
my parents got this 5 acre farm for after they retire, but until then, while i'm in college (goign in-state, ugh, but they used dapper as a bribe) i will live there with my two friends, holly and steph and their horses, prince and scooty, respectively. until college, my friend Whitney and her daughter Alicia will be living there. we fixed the house up from nothing, they guy was a smoker, and so the house totally reeked, the land is bad, everything was wrong with the house. but we fixed it, and Whitney will be living there. whitney's younger daughter is loud and kind of bratty, but i like her. Whitney basically stopped aging at 18, and still sometimes lives like a teenager, even though she's in her late 30's, but she's a trip, and i love her too. Holly will be fun to live with, she's a party animal. but stephanie i know i'll have a problem with, because she can be somewhat bipolar sometimes. moreso than usual, lately. she's driving me crazy! i'm so sick of her freezing me out and then expecting me to be her best friend later. we've never fought before, until these past few weeks. she thinks she's so much better than everyone. we have friends at the barn that are not as good riders as we are, because they don't have their own horses, so they can only go as far as the lesson horses can take them, and they don't improve. but that's not really their fault, i help them out as much as i can, because they want to get better, but don't want to leave the farm, and they've started leasing horses, so it's good. but steph, who just got scooty a year ago, has begun to think that she is somehow, "higher" than them. she gives them "advice", which is really her basically yelling at people when they are doing something that isn't up to their standards. Like she said to Rachel one time, "you're never going to get that horse on the bit. she's way too fat, she won't be able to breathe." and while that may be true, Rachel is working hard on her (she's the only one leasing her, and the horse is only like, 8, and has pleanty of potential) and it was totally out of line for her to say that. Or like when Eliana was on the wrong diagonal, "you need to switch your diagonal. the horse can't go on the bit or move out properly if you don't." Eliana doesnt' take shit from anybody, and was like, "there must have been a nicer way for you to put that." but steph wasn't really listening. Steph doesn't say anything to me, because she knows i don't take that kind of bull. nobody tells me how to ride my horse, and the only person i have to answer to about my riding, is my trainer. but steph does this thing where she just POUTS. and thinks everybody is against her. and with the holier-than-thou attitude she sometimes cops, it's no wonder - she alienates everybody and then wonders why they don't particularly like her. it makes me crazy. i forsee plenty of problems with us living together, but her father is building the fencing at our farm for a next to nothing price, so i'll keep her around until her dad is done. no, that's rude. but i will not take any shit from her.

on a happy note.

topic six: Dapper
he's so amazing. i haven't been working him as hard as i should because with the cold weather and the tiny tiny indoor arena at the place where i'm boarding him, i'm running out of places to ride. it makes me sad. but as soon as i drive, i'm going to ride at the wierdest hours, when no one is out. i am fullly planning on putting him on a schedule - trot sets at 5am before school, and then regular riding after school. that way, he will be whipped into shape when we get to novice this summer. we made 3rd at the jumpstart HT and 4th at the Team CEO HT, so we're eligible for this Area VIII competition in October, but even better, if we make another 5th place or higher in Beginner Novice, we're eligible for the Area VII thing in CHICAGO!!!! so i have to get him in shape, because i want to go to Chicago with daps. road trip! i'm so excited for this season, my trainer has me in all USEA sanctioned events, because she says that there isn't any need fro us to do schooling shows anymore. YAYAYAYAYA!!!!!!!!!! i'm so excited about this. daps has done so well for me. it's kind of bad, because no one else can ride him anymore. not my friends (who are at the level i am minus the competitions), not my trainer, not even daps' old owner. Dapper just abhores it. he doesn't like change much, and he sticks his nose in the air and won't put it down for anything. it's horrible, but i kind of love it. i kind of love getting on him after someone else does and showing them that no, he can actually tuck his head to his chest and push from behind like nobody's business...just not for you. i love my boy. he makes everything I do worthwhile.

okay. i think i'm about done now. this has been festering for a while.

mandarin553 @ 2007-10-27T10:22:00

2007-10-27T15:04:14Z

Junior year wasn't hard until I started to procrastinate. However, i'm enjoying my english project, and i'm descovering that I am pretty damn funny.
Dapper is doing well, aside from the fact that he is lame again. I don't even know what it is, but i'm hoping he will ride it out. It's okay, because we wont' have another show until the spring. Speaking of shows, I love my trainer. I just did my first two-day event, at the horse park...it was like, the biggest one of the season, and me and dapper got third out of twenty, so that was just fantastic.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v329/horselover172/pretty.jpg

school is...school. my marine has recently lost a lot of my trust and confidence in his loyalty to his brothers - especially if he can't stay loyal to his friends. But does that stop me? of course not; i'm a loser.
on tuesday I took nyquil instead of dayquil, so i was totally *gone* during pre calculus and physics. It wasn't a problem for physics, because we dont' learn anything in that class anyway, but in precal it was a problem. lucky my teacher likes me.

I've recently finished "Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" and have begun to read "Chuck Klosterman IV", which is good so far. He is basically who i want to be when i grow up. Nevermind his being caucasian and a man.

We close on the farm on monday. My friend Nicole, who is already in college, was supposed to move in, but she has a pit bull, and my parents refuse to let a pit bull live there, so Nicole probably won't be living there at all, even after I move in. So my parents are trying to get these otehr people to move in, they are non horse people, so i couldn't put dapper out there until I moved out there. It's so frustrating, because I need to get off of the farm I currently keep dapper at. winter's coming, the bill will be ungodly amounts of money. But whatever. it's their fault. And they're already running it like they know how to run a farm. teh impression i'm getting is that they will be at the farm entirely too much and they want to run it, and I hav eno say in it. It was blackmail, because they told me I couln't take dapper with me if i went anywhere else. FRUSTRATING FRUSTRATING FRUSTRATING.

mandarin553 @ 2007-09-30T22:08:00

2007-10-01T02:09:51Z

http://hs.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30011329&l=735f6&id=1199130035

best picture of me and daps ever taken

mandarin553 @ 2007-09-04T17:47:00

2007-09-04T22:04:17Z

I have just aquired custody of a two year old cow. He's possibly the most precious thing i've ever seen in my lifetime, but I have no idea how to take care of a cow. I own a horse, and for now I can always take care of it the way I would my horse (as far as grooming) but any extra tips about care would be fabulous.
any ideas?

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v329/horselover172/?action=view¤t=DSCN0101.jpg

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v329/horselover172/?action=view¤t=DSCN0100.jpg

mandarin553 @ 2007-08-27T19:20:00

2007-08-27T23:33:58Z

sometimes, it feels like i'll never be able to be in a relationship with someone because i'll never be anyone's equal. it's like i'll never find someone who likes me as much as I like them, or who I can tell about the little indiscretions i have and not have to worry about them saying anything but, "it's okay. don't worry about it." and of course, on the one hand it feels like i'm kind of rushing it. but on the other, it would be ressuring to know that i'm number one on someone's list of priorities.
maybe this is stemming from the events of today - we'll call this person Alex. Alex and I are exactly alike, in almost every way possible. there is no reason why we shouldn't be completely compatible. but "alex" sends the worst mixed messages on the planet, and i've already made my move, so it's alex's turn now to toss the ball back into my court. Alex is one of the more sensitive types, and it doesn't seem like they would be the type to lead me on - in fact, no doubt about it, they aren't. and it's kind of my fault, because I let my feelings get in the way of something that was supposed to be casual. which was a stupid, stupid, stupid idea. I knew I'd get attatched. but unlike the last times i've become attatched, it really seems like this one could have ended perfectly.
so i'm just mad. mad that I screwed things so royally. mad because if this person, who seems so perfect for me, ISN'T perfect, then maybe i'm not who I think I am? or maybe my standards are too high?
but everybody has to be equal to somebody, right?

it just seems so stupid. there are so many more important things in the world that it seems stupid to let this one completely mess with my head. my problems just seem petty. but if it's the petty things that get me down, does that make me too shallow of a person? it just seems like this is too stupid to get me upset. but I am.

mandarin553 @ 2007-08-26T19:23:00

2007-08-26T23:24:14Z

it's wierd...lately i've been feeling as though i'm not participating in my own life; only viewing it from the outside. it's kind of wierd, kind of scary.

mandarin553 @ 2007-08-25T12:42:00

2007-08-25T16:43:51Z

he picked me up at five, and we just drove. we went to see dapper, and then we drove to the Target parking lot, where we drank cokes and just talked. and talked. until almost one a.m.

it's going to break my heart when he goes to Iraq.

mandarin553 @ 2007-08-24T17:14:00

2007-08-24T21:17:20Z

so here's what's going on - my parents want me to go to UK so badly, the might buy a plot of land with a house on it, so I could live there with Dapper and my friend holly and her horse prince, and my friend steph and her horse scooty.
it really makes me want to go to UK. [[[:
if they come through with this, I'm definitely doing it. because that means I can get the internship with Bloodhorse, aannnnnd,i'll live with my best friends and my horse. this is superb.

mandarin553 @ 2007-07-04T10:24:00

2007-07-04T14:29:19Z

well, I have not updated in quite the while. Summer kind of does that to a person; although I would like to start writing more often.

I have a horse show on sunday. just Starter level, a CT. I would be excited, but I have a new bridle that was SUPPOSED to come in thursday, but it's on backorder, so I won't be getting it until after the show. So I have to show with that 6 year old ratty bridle that I have right now. oh well. Also, my farrier is supposed to call me, but he hasn't. I called him on Monday, wanting him to come thursday, and it is wednsday, and asking him to come tomorrow is pretty short notice. Although, isn't it HIS fault for not answering? I'm about to call my old farrier, because dapper needs to have his feet done. It's only been five weeks, and his feet are just terrible. I can't show him with those ugly feet, additionally, it will feel so much better for him. I have a lesson on thursday, for our jumping. hmm.

i'm very excited because I am now a JUNIOR, and I get to start looking at colleges!!!!!!!
of course, I have a couple in mind: Indiana, Georgia. I haven't decided. I just need to get out of kentucky. Although, as long as I take Dapper with me, he's basically all I need.
I'm also thinking of getting into psychology. except, I don't know how i'll be able to balance orchestra, psychology classes, poli sci classes, spanish AND english classes. Because I kind of want to major in all of those. I'll never get out to see dapper.

damn me and my huge life plans.

Writer's Block: Words that you love and hate

2007-06-10T01:21:48Z

What are your favorite and least favorite words? Any reasons why?

my favorite word is "symposium". I don't know why. it's just pretty.

BAMMMMMM

2007-05-21T00:35:51Z

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v329/horselover172/?action=view¤t=3-1.flv

ah, college.

2007-02-24T14:36:40Z

University of South Carolina

or

University of Georgia

that's where I had the National Honor Society send my resume.

Both have equestrian teams, but both UGA and USC are intercollegiate, and they're both hunt seat. What's the difference between hunt seat and whatever the hell it is I do? Anyway, I was also kind of looking at Arizona U, because they have an NCAA team. I mean, by the time I get to college, i'll be 10x better riding than I am now.

Also, I have too look into Philharmonic Orchestras, and Music Theory classes, because I am going to get a Music scholarship with my violin. because I am going to get my masters degree. Dr Mccorvey, fo sho. [:

I'm also hoping, that if I get the Governor's Award, or whatever it is that our counselor gets so worked up about all the time, I will get enough credit to not have to take math in college. Although I do want to take some kind of Statistics class, because If i'm going to be a kickass politician, i have to give out stats that are up to par. To get this Governor's award, though, I have to take TONS of AP classes for the rest of my high school career. I'm taking four my junior year, and five my senior year, as of now.

Here are my choices:
Major in Poli-sci, double minor in english and spanish (can you double minor?)
Double major in english/spanish, minor in Poli-Sci
Double major in Poli-sci, and english, minor in spanish
Double major in Poli-sci and spanish, minor in English
Double major in poli-sci and journalism, and minor in spanish--although i don't quite want to do journalism.
Double major in poli-sci and spanish, minor in Journalism

I am going to have an insane workload, but I have big plans to change the world. I'll deal.

After that i'm taking that exam-i forget what its called- to get into law school (i don't know which one yet), and see what's out there, I guess.

dude, i'm so excited. i'm ready to change the world NOW.

thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great.

2007-02-24T13:38:10Z

So I read through previous entries, ones from freshman year. Wow. I was a messed up emo kid. I am somewhat of a pessimist, but, jeez.
I think i'm happier this year, because i'm making more connections than I did then. I realize that I can come to school upset, and be cheered up within the hour, because my friends are, however crazy they make me, my lifeline.
I was upset about Dapper being lame again, and his old owner doing what she did, and I was a mess when I walked into school, but by the end of first hour I found myself goofing off and being generally happy. They do that to me. It makes me realize how intensely grateful I am to have wonderful friends.

mandarin553 @ 2007-02-21T19:44:00

2007-02-22T00:47:45Z

i am having a lovely, albeit large, existential crisis.

over the past week i have had lots of time to think, for some reason, and i came up with a couple theories:

1- i have a problem writing stories and novels like i used to because i am afraid i won't measure up to Stephanie Meyers' Twilight and New Moon. (AMAZING books, by the way.)

2- i am attracted to people that are damaged. I want to fix people. Not psychiatrist, or anything. I just like to feel needed,a nd that's why i'm not good at relationships. I'm wanting to be the hero. always.

those are just two. interesting.

mandarin553 @ 2007-02-19T19:18:00

2007-02-20T00:32:57Z

So today, since i was working, i went out to the barn. it was GORGEOUS out, like, 45 degrees. What made it so much better was that Dapper wasn't lame anyomre, but i'll get to that.
Dad's overseas business negitiator, Juan Montalvo, was touring with dad's Spiritual Ensemble. He is from Spain, and it was his first time visiting Lexington. My father does not speak any spanish, so i got to play translator. Dad just nods his head, smiles, and says "si" a lot. We went to see Dapper, and dad loves to show off that he owns a horse (even though it is mine, and dad doesn't ever get closer than fifteen feet), so dad yelled "Hey dapper dan!" and tried to act, like he always does, like he's familiar with the animal, although every time dad gets closer to dapper, dapper gets overprotective of me because he is not around very many men, and dad NEVER gets too close. he's like, "dude. back off of my human. who are you. don't touch me." it's funny, but i don't ever call it out because dad likes to pretend he's got some kind of intimate relation with my horse. he doesn't.
Anyway, i brought Dapper in and wasn't planning on riding him, but he was sound, so that was exciting. I rode for about an hour and a half, an hour of it was trying to figure out what got him giving into the rein, and possibly going on the bit, and it turned out that i was working too hard. I had to think "contain, contain, contain" to myself, like i was pushing his energy out, and containing it with the bridle. it doesn't make sense on paper, but it's pretty clear when you're actually doing it. so i was very excited when he finally got it, after so long. it was like we were "talking" again, after forever. he's going to be so tired for the next few days, but i don't see him again until thursday.
Also, i've decided that over the summer, in addition to working at the farm, i'm going to work at petsmart, in the state line tack section. because every time i go there, and i need to find something, they never know what they're talking about. so this is a work in progress with my friend Eliza.

woo