by the way, me and Dapper are fifth in the nation in BN.
we are such bamfs.

anyway, here's the schedge:

October 3-5th - Jumpstart Horse Trials (novice)
October 12th - Jumper Stumpers at Champagne Run (but i don't think i'm going)
October 15-19 - Team Challenge HT (novice)
October 25-26 - Octoberfest HT and CT (novice HT)

so all i have to do is stay 5th in the nation and i'll get a sweet action prize at the end of the year awards
also i'm first area 8 (KY, ON, IN, PN, and WVA) so if we hold onto that through two more shows (until the competition year ends because octoberfest isn't sanctioned) we get fun year-end awards for that too.


i wish i could clone dan.

palin:
-governor for 18 months
-wants to dig up alaska for quick oil but has no regard for long term environmental plans
-believes that global warming is "not" man-made...she's obviously deluded because Alaska is still cold.
-no foreign policy experience...unless you count being in close proximity to russia, as she apparently does.
-made several inflammitory insinuations toward Iran in her acceptance speech
-anti-choice
-thinks creationism should be taught in public schools, along with abstinence-only sex education (and look how far that got her...)
-vehemently concervative
- generally a douchebag.
-said "thanks" before "no thanks" on the bridge to nowhere
-takes it in the butthole from Big Oil
it's almost offensive for McCain to believe that hillary supporters would be stupid enough to think that palin is an acceptable substitute.

Mccain:
-had 90% approval rate with george bush, and i would say the argument ends there, but...
-*almost* but now quite as douch-y as palin

and the republican party can say whatever they want about obama only being a "community organizer" but, to put it in terms that only the overzealous republican christians can understand, jesus was a community organizer. pontius pilot was a governor. I hope sarah palin gets run over by a moose.

it's nice to finally understand your calling, persay, in life: it took me the longest time to realize that i am a pretty damn good rider...last week was my kind of moment of realization - i'm pretty damn good at this. granted, i'm not doing training, or prelim, but we did win our very first novice competition on sunday. it was open, so we beat a couple trainers, and a bunch of people who i know were about to move up to training. very first novice ever. the four inches of amazingness that separates it from BN. :) :) :)
next week we compete at the horse park to win a spot in the beginner novice championships in Illinois, and after i qualify my trainer says i get to pretty much do all USEA sanctioned novice shows, wich i'm exciteed. After our novice season finishes and we get through the novice champs september of 09, i get to start looking for Dapper part II, because daps can't go higher than novice with his leggies. i'm just afraid i won't find a horse as superb as dapper is.

anyway, pictures:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2000902&l=1782c&id=1199130035

i'm feeling so lost. I just don't know who to talk to anymore.

I guess I should have gone to prom, then maybe I wouldn't feel like such an outsider all the time. Maybe I would be included in notes again. Maybe people would call me to make plans. Maybe my friends would start INCLUDING me in the plans they already have.

Maybe I brought this all on myself...

It's becoming frustrating to read article after article accusing me, an equestrian, of "getting my kicks" by eventing – the horse-killer’s sport. A friend of mine who also rides, referred me to an article she'd read a couple days ago, one that appeared right after the deaths of the two horses at the cross country phase of Rolex 2008. "We’re horse-killers.” She said, and the statement was so preposterous, it made us both laugh. At the time, coincidentally, we were schooling over cross country jumps, and I looked down at my horse, who, though tired, didn't look to me as if he was being slowly ridden to his death. Hungry, maybe, it was about his dinnertime, but not anguished.
As we finished our ride, I mulled over the notion that I might be homicidal- that I might possess some brand of dementia since my horse and I are pursuing higher levels. It's infuriating to read editorials from people, clearly not riders themselves, and who are therefore unable to understand the partnership between horse and a rider. It isn’t that I’m pushing my horse to do something beyond his capacity. I take the responsibility, as an eventer, to know my horse’s limits, and it is not the responsibility of those who know nothing about the sport to make the decision for me. I'm pushing my horse and myself, as a team, to do our best and go as far as we can in the sport – like the athletes we are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's 248 words exactly, and it's the letter i sent to the lexington newspaper after the 3rd article came out about my horse-killing tendencies...thanks, horse-country-of-the-world. thanks.

you know what? it's spring break. IT'S SPRING BREAK. i should be doing what they do on MTV during spring break! i should be on the beach somewhere whoring myself out to semi-cute unattatched guys and partying all night and sleeping all day! but NO! what have i done this spring break? i've worked at wkf. and then i watched PG rated movies with my parents. and THEN i went to a museam. tomorrow i'm working and then riding. the next day i'm going to a movie with my youth group. i'm SO TIRED of being a boring dull person! I NEED TO FIND A PARTY i'm going ABSOLUTELY CRAZY and i have CABIN FEVER and i can't DO anything at night because i'm not allowed to drive in the nighttime yet! OH MY GOD i am going to STRANGLE MYSELF

how do i feel? i'm feeling kind of quiet. not shhh quiet, pensive quiet. even though i'm being smacked in the head by fate, i still kind of want to go to a party this weekend with marine and see how far i can take him. every time i think to myself, it's over, let it go, i hear him saying, "you sure?" in my head, because when he said that, it meant that he would have come if i wasn't sure. SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH
i'm also a little frustrated with my riding, like, keeping my toes in and the like. daps is also having a hard time getting back into the groove of things...it took me like, 30 minutes to get him on the bit today, when usually i can get him on it in five.
but i love him, and we are GOING to chicago this year for that competition, even if i have to compete every weekend to get a 5th or above.

also i've realized that i kind of like updating this thing.

so heath ledger.

sucks.

i guess i'm really really late on this, but it was probably because i didn't care. but in light of the fact that i am constantly bombarded by the "did you HEAR about HEATH?! isn't it so SAD?!"
the only sad part about it was his age, and the fact that he had a daughter.
i have a very hard time feeling sorry for people who have died from drug overdoses, or especially drunk driving, which is really what this post is about. so in fact, it's not that i have a hard time feeling sorry, it's that i just don't feel sorry about it at all. there should be a disclaimer on drugs - may cause death. not that it would stop anybody. drunk driving is probably the one unforgivable sin i could think of, especially when it kills somebody - not the person behind the wheel, i could care less about them- but the victim. i can't imagine the pain a family would have to go through after hearing their son/daughter/family member has died because of a drunk driving accident. it's one of the most horrible things that could happen. it makes me want to advocate for the death penalty- but not one that the constitution would allow for. I want the family to kill the person who committed the drunk driving. i want the family to go apeshit. i want the family to drink half a bottle of vodka and run their car right into his ass. i want the victim's family to kill the sorry sons of bitches themselves. i want drunk drivers lined up in front of a firing squad and have all of their limbs shot off. i want to put them on uppers, and speed, so they can't fall asleep while all of their limbs are cut off, piece by piece with a scalding hot butcher knife, until their hearts give out.
unless it was suicide.
in which case, i still don't feel that bad. suicide is the most selfish crime a person could commit. i won't say anymore about that, but it's up there with the unforgivable sins.

anyway.

so this marine thing is getting rediculous.
i talked to him yesterday, asking if he wanted to do something, and he was like, "me and the guys are going to see 'meet the spartans'" and i was like, "it would probably scare me." because, hello, spartans? i was definitely thinking it would be something like 300, and i hadn't seen the previews. so i turned him down. when i did, he said, "you sure?" in that hot, hot, hot, hot, hot sweet sexy smooth voice of his, and inside i was like, "NO!" but i said, "yeah, i'm sure." and then i DID see a preview, and it looked really good and funny, and i was so upset that i'd turned him down i had to buy myself a new bag. it didn't work, i was still kind of upset, but now i have a new bag. it's cute. it has a butterfly on it.
then today i called him because he goes to my church and there's this thing going on tomorrow...and the only way i could get there on time was if i had a ride over, since my mom couldn't pick me up any earlier (i drive in 2 months...2 months...to long...) so i was going to call him to see if i could hitch a ride, but he said he didn't think he was going. i said, that was fine, i'd find a way somehow. and then he said, "you sure?" in, like i mentioned before, that hot hot hot hot sweet sexy smooth voice of his, and inside i was like, "NO!" but i said, "yeah, i'm sure." since getting more and more involved with the marines he's not involved with youth group or whatever anymore, so i should have known this is coming.
so i'm not much for pre-destination, but sometimes i DO get the feeling that when something isn't supposed to happen, the world will work all of its forces to make sure it doesn't. and that's really the feeling i'm getting here. if i did belive in fate and predestination, i would know that Lady Fortune is smacking me on the forehead right about now.
but i want him and this is all just very frustrating. do i give up???

and another thing - i am sixteen years old. i want my own goddamn room.