ummmmmm i'm just going to say it. I super super REALLY do not support the legalization of medical marijuana. I think it's already 100% unregulated and legalizing it would just make it worse.
it was cold and rainy today so the boys are in the barn eating hay and wearing warm blankets and warming up. luckily the low for tonight is only 50 with no rain so they should be okay. pc looks silly in dapper's blanket and i think he thinks i'm being stupid and that i shouldn't worry about him cause he's too old for me...at least that's the look he gives me, but I think it's cause he's 5 and thinks he owns the world. Dapper doesn't give me that look, I think he assumes I must know what's best. I think he thinks I control things like the weather and the attitudes of other horses and grass growth and stuff, because every time something looks different to him I get the impression that he's waiting for me to change it back. i love that guy
i haven't updated this since the beginning of time. Every time I go through this thing i'm constantly embarrassed by my own dramatics and silliness, but I couldn't possibly delete anything, i'm so awful at taking pictures and recording things, it doesn't make sense for me to erase the few memories I have of that awkward time I called freshman year.
What could I possibly talk about?
Ponies: I picked up a new one by accident, in April...we're working on him. His name is PC and he hates me. Not really, but he doesn't respond to praise or punishment, which makes him kind of hard to train. But we'll get know each other...i hope. because I own him now. and Dapper is semi-retired, he's got a suspensory issue that he could come out of, but he's so fragile I'd rather just retire him than push things. and by fragile I mean, he's either choking or being mysteriously lame or having abscesses or suspensory issues but i'm content to just trail ride and love on him forever, i think.
school: I'M GOING TO CANADA NEXT SEMESTER! i'm really excited. I'm going to Nova Scotia, specifically Mahone Bay, which looks like Stars Hollow from Gilmore girls. it's adorable. I can't wait. I'll be going to school in Halifax and i'm taking a bunch of classes that take my no further with my major at UK but i don't care.
Speaking of my major, I've decided (i decided this a while ago) that i really REALLY want to work with the military, not veterans but the ones in active duty...basically I just think - why wait for the VA when we could tackle the problems before old age? That's what I think.
I'm living at the farm now, and i'm alone because my roommates were only here for the games...and now it's scary out here. Although I figure if there's ever an ax murderer, i'll just run outside and hop on one of the horses. well, it'd have to be scooty (who is not mine but is living here, LONG story) because pc pulled up with a popped splint last week - he's coming out of it REALLY quick though but not quick enough to save me from an ax murderer.
Have I ever talked about Jade? Jade was my best friend in the whole wide world like, since i was 11. There's nothing I didn't tell Jade and i'm pretty sure it was mutual. There's literally NOTHING i kept from him and i suppose I took it for granted, and because of what happened this summer now we're not friends at all. Of course there's more to the story than that but although this happened back in june i'm still not over it. It's hard losing your best friend - it's like, who do you text things and who do you tell anything anymore? and now his girlfriend's horse is at my barn (and it's MY barn so I also feed her stupid cranky grumpy horse every day too) and i have to see her all the time and she doesn't know what happened but i'd be tempted to tell her if i thought it would hurt him. Also she sucks as a person, so it's not even like I'd feel bad. But I like her parents a lot. I just hate her. And every time I see a dodge charger on the road I have to speed up to see if it's him, because I haven't seen him since june and I'd do almost anything to talk to him again...and i've got no pride left, after groveling on facebook and via text and I haven't heard his voice or seen his face and I don't know why I can't get over it. There's something about "best friends" that can't be surpassed by relationships, even if you're best friends with your significant other - because if you're best friends with someone without being in a relationship with them, it means you can love each other without the ties of intimacy, because the intimacy part comes from other places, like knowing things about each other and sharing and being there. I don't know. I just can't get over that.
And then my best girl friend has her first boyfriend so she's fairly inaccessible as well but that's nothing new, she was never the easiest to stay in contact with anyway...
but all of this is why I think it's a good time for me to go to Canada. I've always felt a little "tied" here, because of the horses or because I didn't want to miss anything with my friends - but the horses are coming with me and everyone's drifted, especially the one person who I thought would always always be there for me. There's no benefit to stay, and being here is driving me nuts. It's time for me to start something new and not be so tied here. It's happening at a perfect time (although i'll be COLD but i don't care) because I just need to get out of here and away from everyone.
Ummmm next. I think i'll go through my old dramatic entries and relive freshman year. gag me.
by the way, me and Dapper are fifth in the nation in BN.
we are such bamfs.
anyway, here's the schedge:
October 3-5th - Jumpstart Horse Trials (novice)
October 12th - Jumper Stumpers at Champagne Run (but i don't think i'm going)
October 15-19 - Team Challenge HT (novice)
October 25-26 - Octoberfest HT and CT (novice HT)
so all i have to do is stay 5th in the nation and i'll get a sweet action prize at the end of the year awards
also i'm first area 8 (KY, ON, IN, PN, and WVA) so if we hold onto that through two more shows (until the competition year ends because octoberfest isn't sanctioned) we get fun year-end awards for that too.
i wish i could clone dan.
-governor for 18 months
-wants to dig up alaska for quick oil but has no regard for long term environmental plans
-believes that global warming is "not" man-made...she's obviously deluded because Alaska is still cold.
-no foreign policy experience...unless you count being in close proximity to russia, as she apparently does.
-made several inflammitory insinuations toward Iran in her acceptance speech
-thinks creationism should be taught in public schools, along with abstinence-only sex education (and look how far that got her...)
- generally a douchebag.
-said "thanks" before "no thanks" on the bridge to nowhere
-takes it in the butthole from Big Oil
it's almost offensive for McCain to believe that hillary supporters would be stupid enough to think that palin is an acceptable substitute.
-had 90% approval rate with george bush, and i would say the argument ends there, but...
-*almost* but now quite as douch-y as palin
and the republican party can say whatever they want about obama only being a "community organizer" but, to put it in terms that only the overzealous republican christians can understand, jesus was a community organizer. pontius pilot was a governor. I hope sarah palin gets run over by a moose.
it's nice to finally understand your calling, persay, in life: it took me the longest time to realize that i am a pretty damn good rider...last week was my kind of moment of realization - i'm pretty damn good at this. granted, i'm not doing training, or prelim, but we did win our very first novice competition on sunday. it was open, so we beat a couple trainers, and a bunch of people who i know were about to move up to training. very first novice ever. the four inches of amazingness that separates it from BN. :) :) :)
next week we compete at the horse park to win a spot in the beginner novice championships in Illinois, and after i qualify my trainer says i get to pretty much do all USEA sanctioned novice shows, wich i'm exciteed. After our novice season finishes and we get through the novice champs september of 09, i get to start looking for Dapper part II, because daps can't go higher than novice with his leggies. i'm just afraid i won't find a horse as superb as dapper is.
anyway, pictures: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2000902&l=1782c&id=1199130035
i'm feeling so lost. I just don't know who to talk to anymore.
I guess I should have gone to prom, then maybe I wouldn't feel like such an outsider all the time. Maybe I would be included in notes again. Maybe people would call me to make plans. Maybe my friends would start INCLUDING me in the plans they already have.
Maybe I brought this all on myself...
It's becoming frustrating to read article after article accusing me, an equestrian, of "getting my kicks" by eventing – the horse-killer’s sport. A friend of mine who also rides, referred me to an article she'd read a couple days ago, one that appeared right after the deaths of the two horses at the cross country phase of Rolex 2008. "We’re horse-killers.” She said, and the statement was so preposterous, it made us both laugh. At the time, coincidentally, we were schooling over cross country jumps, and I looked down at my horse, who, though tired, didn't look to me as if he was being slowly ridden to his death. Hungry, maybe, it was about his dinnertime, but not anguished.
As we finished our ride, I mulled over the notion that I might be homicidal- that I might possess some brand of dementia since my horse and I are pursuing higher levels. It's infuriating to read editorials from people, clearly not riders themselves, and who are therefore unable to understand the partnership between horse and a rider. It isn’t that I’m pushing my horse to do something beyond his capacity. I take the responsibility, as an eventer, to know my horse’s limits, and it is not the responsibility of those who know nothing about the sport to make the decision for me. I'm pushing my horse and myself, as a team, to do our best and go as far as we can in the sport – like the athletes we are.
it's 248 words exactly, and it's the letter i sent to the lexington newspaper after the 3rd article came out about my horse-killing tendencies...thanks, horse-country-of-the-world. thanks.
you know what? it's spring break. IT'S SPRING BREAK. i should be doing what they do on MTV during spring break! i should be on the beach somewhere whoring myself out to semi-cute unattatched guys and partying all night and sleeping all day! but NO! what have i done this spring break? i've worked at wkf. and then i watched PG rated movies with my parents. and THEN i went to a museam. tomorrow i'm working and then riding. the next day i'm going to a movie with my youth group. i'm SO TIRED of being a boring dull person! I NEED TO FIND A PARTY i'm going ABSOLUTELY CRAZY and i have CABIN FEVER and i can't DO anything at night because i'm not allowed to drive in the nighttime yet! OH MY GOD i am going to STRANGLE MYSELF